Lightning Fill In The Blank

Oct 28, 2017
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth

two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Paula and Adam have 2, and Luke has 3.

SAGAL: We've flipped a coin. Paula has elected to go second. That means that Adam will start us off. Adam, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, Tea Party groups settled a lawsuit against the blank over discrimination during Obama's presidency.

ADAM BURKE: The Democratic Party.

SAGAL: No, against the IRS. According to new reports, the Trump campaign reached out to blank offering to help release some of Hillary Clinton's emails.

BURKE: I don't know.

SAGAL: WikiLeaks. The White House declared the blank crisis a public health emergency.

BURKE: Opioids.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A pregnant woman in Utah whose baby was one week overdue dealt with the situation by blanking.

BURKE: Delivering it herself.

SAGAL: No, she had a district court judge issue an official eviction notice from her womb.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Baby was born 12 hours later. On Monday, the state of New York banned blanking inside public spaces.

BURKE: Smoking.

SAGAL: Oh, no this time vaping.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, good.

SAGAL: After 10 seasons, Joe Girardi will not be back as manager of the blanks.

BURKE: Yankees.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a number of questions from drivers, Iowa's Department of Transportation...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Had to issue a statement saying that deer crossing signs were blank.

BURKE: Racist.

SAGAL: No, that they said...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Those deer are a race, but no. It was that deer crossing signs are meant to be read by drivers, not by the deer.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The Iowa Department of Transportation this week released a statement on Facebook saying, quote, "deer cannot read signs. Drivers can. The sign isn't intended to tell deer where to cross."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: "It's for drivers to be alert that deer have been spotted in this area in the past," unquote. Great. But tell me this, Iowa Department of Transportation, how do the deer know where to cross then?

(LAUGHTER)

BURKE: You're laughing, but literally that had never occurred to me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Really?

BURKE: I kind of thought that was somehow related to the deer being like yeah, we should probably do it here.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got a couple right.

SAGAL: Hey.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: Four more points. A total of 6, but he's in the lead.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Paula, you're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, it was confirmed that the DNC helped to fund a dossier on Trump's ties to blank.

POUNDSTONE: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Secretary of State Tillerson made surprise visits to Iraq and blank.

POUNDSTONE: I don't know. Afghanistan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new study, blank premiums are expected to rise by 34 percent in the coming year.

POUNDSTONE: Insurance. Health insurance.

SAGAL: Obamacare. I'll give it to you.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, social media site blank announced they were banning ads from Russian news agencies.

POUNDSTONE: Facebook.

SAGAL: No, Twitter.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, darn it.

SAGAL: Using solar energy, car company Tesla help restore power to a children's hospital in blank.

POUNDSTONE: Puerto Rico.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Montreal man who was pulled over by police said the officer fined him $150 for blanking.

POUNDSTONE: He fined him $150 for - oh, I don't know.

SAGAL: For singing "Everybody Dance Now" while driving.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I do know that. Yes, he sang loud. Yes.

SAGAL: He did. The Canadian man was running errands and enjoying life and singing his heart out when police pulled him over. Four police officers surrounded his car and asked him about the screaming that they heard in the vehicle.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He was eventually given a $150 ticket for quote "screaming in a public place." When asked about this, this is true, the man's wife said singing? I would have given a ticket for $300.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: See, you know, if had one of those cars that you talked to, the car would've backed him up.

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Five right. Ten more points. She's slipped into the lead with 12.

SAGAL: All right, then. So how many does Luke Burbank need to win?

KURTIS: Five, five to win.

SAGAL: All right. This is for the game, Luke. On Tuesday, the Senate voted to block a new regulation that would allow consumers to sue their blanks.

LUKE BURBANK: Banks.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, President Trump and House Republicans renewed talks on a possible change to how much Americans can contribute to blank plans.

BURBANK: 401(k)s.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week China's Communist Party officially granted blank a second five-year term.

BURBANK: President Xi.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, former President Jimmy Carter said he would be willing to negotiate with blank to avoid a nuclear catastrophe.

BURBANK: North Korea.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week an official meeting at the Elysee Palace between the French president and the minister of ecology was interrupted by blank.

BURBANK: The French president's dog peeing on the fireplace.

SAGAL: That's exactly what happened.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study released Thursday suggests that blanks are rising much faster than previously thought.

BURBANK: Sea levels.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for the songs, "Blueberry Hill" and "Ain't That A Shame," legendary musician blank passed away at the age of 89.

BURBANK: Hold on. It's like - I have a combination of Fats Waller and Chubby Checker in my mind, and neither of them is it.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: Elvis Presley called him The King.

SAGAL: And his name was...

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Fats Domino.

SAGAL: Fats Domino.

BURBANK: Fats Domino.

SAGAL: After fighting off a police officer while being arrested and...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Then spending the night in jail, a Louisiana woman blanked.

BURBANK: Dedicated her act to Fats Domino.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She sent the officer a cake that said, sorry I tried to bite you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to the woman - her name was Celina Dally - she and a friend went to a wine tasting at a local university. They had a little too much wine to taste. She says the last thing she remember was a passing out in her friend's car and then waking up in a jail cell. It must have been some wine tasting.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: She was under arrest for public intoxication and trying to bite a police officer. Feeling terrible about it, she brought the officer a cake that said, sorry I tried to bite you. The officer accepted the cake with a smile, and Ms. Dally was free to go around the world as a vampire who feeds on the blood of police officers.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Luke do well enough to win?

KURTIS: He did.

SAGAL: Hey.

(APPLAUSE)

BURBANK: But not well enough to win a new nickname with the crowd.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Oh, well. Keep working on it, my friend. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.